crazy9. "How cute -- Donald Trump and William Shatner are exchanging hairpieces."
8. "No Mr. Blake, there is no 'Best Murder' category."
7. "Each of tonight's winners gets a four-month marriage to Renee Zellweger."
6. "Tell Pat O'Brien I'm very flattered, but I'm gonna pass."
5. "We're behind schedule -- let's just give the rest to HBO and call it a night."
4. "Sorry, Mr. Philbin -- the 'Desperate Housewives' aren't that desperate."
3. "Sean Penn is outside trying to rescue the cast of 'Lost'."
2. "Courtney Love keeps asking the guy from 'House' to prescribe her some pills."
1. "Oh my god, it's the ghost of Buddy Ebsen! Oh no, it's just David Letterman."
