December 19th, 2018


Dreading December 27

Still feeling extra nervous about the surgery coming up on Dec. 27th. Been doing some online research, after the surgery I could be in the hospital up to 7 days, and have a feeding tube up to 8 weeks. They'll either "go in" through the abdomen or the chest. Never had anything this "drastic" done before. Some bills may not be paid during that time, just hoping some things don't get shut off. I've already sold the 'valuable" stuff I have to pay bills, that money didn't last long. Goodness knows, even after I recover, if I'll ever find a job. Had a few interviews before this esophagus thing came up, but no one called back (thinking because of my age). I've put the job search on 'hold" until I get this health thing straightened out.

At the rate things are going, sometimes I think I'd be better off if something went 'horribly wrong" during the surgery. Nothing has been going right for me for years.