December 20th, 2005

drink coffee

Top Ten...

Top Ten Signs You're Not Going To Be Named Time Magazine's Person Of The Year

10. "Your biggest achievement this year was hooking up your Tivo"

9. "You failed a paternity test on 'Maury'"

8. "The only award you've ever won is for eating your weight in ribs"

7. "You were on the Robert Blake jury"

6. "Don't subscribe to 'Time', but you do flip through 'Hustler' at 7-Eleven"

5. "You were on the Michael Jackson Jury"

4. "Only compliment you got this year was some idiot telling you you're doing 'a heck of a job'"

3. "You have Bill Gates' looks, Bill Gates' personality, without Bill Gates' money"

2. "You donate your free time to hot tubbin' with whores"

1. You did this...

From the "Late Show with David Letterman"
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