Albert Sims (albert71292) wrote,
Albert Sims
albert71292

  • Mood:

Last Weeks Headlines

To keep those who don't watch the news updated on current events, here are the major headlines of the past week:

1. Farmer's Almanac predicts "snowy winter;" past predictions have included "rainy spring," and "hot summer"
2 .GFI recalls 717,000 pounds of ground beef; employees wary about upcoming Labor Day cook-out
3. Rare white-colored black bear declared off limits to hunters; sportsmen urged to hunt Michael Jackson instead
4. Ohio mom facing misdemeanor charges for allowing her 3 children to become severely sunburned; will discover pain of going without lotion while in prison
5 .Anthrax suspect Hatfill files complaint against attorney-general's handling of his case; clerk assigned to handle paperwork reportedly "less than thrilled"
6. Bronze Age had sophisticated knowledge of drugs; "But the inability to master rudimentary pizza delivery technology doomed it to failure," states archaeologist
7 ."Puppetry of the Penis" show opens in Los Angeles; "I've been performing that show in my bathroom everyday for the past 20 years," states unimpressed Angeleno
8. Utah Polygamist Tom Green could be sentenced jail for life; prospective cellmate looks forward to getting his 5th wife
9. Police catch Florida doctor planning to blow up mosques; "now if they could just catch the guys in mosques planning to blow up doctors, they'd be on to something," muses New Yorker
10. 1 in 32 adults in the United States were incarcerated last year; "I had no idea there were that many CEOs in America," states sociologist

SUPER BONUS HEADLINE

Japanese scientists are attempting to clone a woolly mammoth as an attraction for a new Wildlife Park; so far only able to produce considerably less-impressive "woorry mammoth."
Subscribe

  • Another Digitization from Audio Cassettes

    Skipping around a bit on my old "Tape & Record Show Enterprises" digitizing transfers. Not sure I'll be awake very late this evening, so transferred…

  • F*ckin' Spam Calls

    Got woke up this morning by the damn cellphone ringing. Gonna have to start turning the ringer OFF when I'm at home, and only turn it ON when I…

  • Spit Takes

    Pro-Tip: Don't be drinking something when listening to Randy Haney "announce" tracks of recorded stuff. Almost lost a keyboard transferring part two…

  • Post a new comment

    Error

    Anonymous comments are disabled in this journal

    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded 

  • 1 comment